Grams

Mom was a big part of the interior design team at Community Hospital.  At some point in 2012, Mom and other team members were working on sprucing up the healing garden.  The healing garden is a wonderful addition to the hospital.  It allows patients and their family members to be outside while being surrounded by flowers, plants and an outdoor fireplace.  The space provides tranquility and healing for the soul.  Dad remembered Mom talking about wanting to add a fixture to the healing garden so people could be provided with shade while enjoying the fresh air.  The team submitted a proposal but at that time it was turned down due to the expense.  They were in the process of finding alternate materials and contractors so they could put together another proposal.  Shortly thereafter Mom became ill and she never returned as an employee at the hospital.  

The people at Community Hospital were Mom’s second family.  She worked there 33 years and she invested a lot of time and energy working with others to make sure all of the details were in place.  She really enjoyed being a part of the interior design committee as well as assisting with the various phases of the large overhaul of the hospital.  During our daily phone conversations, Mom would share with me the status of the projects as well as all of the additions of new services that were being brought to hospital.  I could always tell how passionate she was about her job as well as her involvement in the various committees based on the excitement in her voice when she talked about all of the improvements and new services. 

 

In the spring of 2013, Dad decided he wanted to see Mom’s vision become a reality.  He knew how excited Mom was about the pergola and he also knew how disappointed she was when the proposal was turned down.  Mom was very persistent and had her health not gotten in the way, I am confident she would have gotten a bid and proposal approved by the committee.   Dad wanted to dedicate the pergola in the healing garden to Mom for her service at the hospital as well as in honor of the woman she was.  Dad worked with the foundation and by early summer 2013 the pergola was complete!  Dad kept us updated during the construction project with calls and texts regarding the progress.  Dan Remple of McCook built the pergola.  We know Mom hand-picked Dan from heaven to complete this project.  Dan was the contractor who updated Mom and Dad’s house just a few years prior to Mom becoming ill.  Having Dan build the pergola added a special touch. 

During the construction process, our family compared calendars to see which dates worked for the dedication ceremony.  It was somewhat of a challenge because of Rochelle’s treatment schedule and my traveling restrictions from my doctor.  The number 13 was Mom’s favorite number and Dad thought it would be fitting to have the dedication ceremony on September 13, 2013.  Rochelle and I agreed how significant it would be to have the dedication ceremony on September 13^th but I was hesitant because Layton would be less than two weeks old.  Josh and I have not had very good luck traveling with newborns so I was nervous with the idea of traveling with baby Layton. I had a bad feeling it would take a lot more than the typical 6-7 hours with him considering it took us nearly 6 hours to get home from Lincoln, Nebraska when Holden was three weeks old.  When we were in college and kid free, we could travel from Lincoln to Olathe in approximately 3 hours.  Dad completely understood and we all agreed on Friday, July 19, 2013. 

The week of the dedication ceremony, Rochelle, Scott and the girls took a mini vacation to the Great Wolfe Lodge in Kansas City.  Anisten remembered the Great Wolf Lodge from their previous visit in 2012.  When they checked into their room Anisten was so excited and said, "Mom and Dad, thank you so much!  This place is awesome!"  The kids had their own separate area with buck beds and a TV.  During their three day vacation, we had Rochelle and Scott over to our house for supper.  Bryson also remembered the Great Wolf Lodge from 2012 and he asked if he could stay all night.  Rochelle and Scott offered to take Holden as well but he declined.  As they were getting ready to leave, Holden put his shoes on and told Josh and I he was going to stay all night with them. We were not sure how this would go considering how little he was and the fact he had never stayed the night away from Josh and I.  We loaded up four kids and off they went to the hotel.  Josh and I did not know how to act having no kids.  It was a much needed break because we knew it would soon be back to sleepless nights with Layton’s arrival.  Rochelle, Scott and the girls left for Indianola on Thursday, July 18^th after they checked out of the hotel.  

Josh, Bryson, Holden and I left for Indianola on Thursday.  I was 34 weeks pregnant with Layton so my doctor told me to be sure to stop and walk several times during the trip to prevent blood clots.  This trip to Indianola was the second trip back since Mom’s funeral.  The first trip back was in May 2013 for Memorial Day.  I had mixed emotions about traveling home.  I was of course excited to see Dad and to really feel Mom’s presence in the home but I was also sad to think that Mom would not be there to greet us with a hug and smile as we walked through the front door.  I found myself having that same sense of false hope that I had the night of Mom’s visitation.  I knew Mom would not physically be there when we arrived but I continued to imagine her welcoming us with open arms and living life as we had in the past.  

The ceremony was absolutely perfect!  Our immediate family arrived early so we could view the pergola.  There was a nice breakfast awaiting our arrival.  We had time to visit with some of the wonderful employees of Community Hospital as well as our family who drove near and far to be with us.  We all met in one of the new conference rooms before the ceremony and we made our way outside just before the commencement of the dedication ceremony.  Our immediate family sat under the pergola during the ceremony.  As we looked around we were overwhelmed by the outpouring support once again.  Several employees took time out of their busy day to attend the ceremony and it was a beautiful sight.  Jim Ulrich was Mom’s boss at the time of her passing.  He opened the ceremony by welcoming everyone and talking about Mom and her contributions as well as the healing garden.  Jim had been Mom’s boss for approximately 10 years.  Gary Bieganski and his wife Donna also attended the dedication ceremony.  Gary was Mom’s first boss at Community Hospital.  Gary delivered a nice speech as well.  He talked about Mom’s wonderful character traits and all she did for the hospital during her time there.  As I looked around, there were not many dry eyes.  It was very humbling to see how many lives Mom touched and it was nice to know she left a positive impression during her employment at Community Hospital.  Dad spoke about Mom and he did a wonderful job.  Prior to the ceremony he expressed his nervousness about giving a speech but he did a fantastic job.  It is easy to talk publically about somebody so near and dear to our hearts.  

Following the dedication ceremony, we were given a full tour of the hospital.  It was amazing to see how much the hospital had changed and it was fun to personally see what Mom had been talking about over the last few years.  As we walked the halls, I could see Mom’s personal touches and “fingerprints” she left behind through the colors and design.  She would have been so pleased with all of the changes that took place after her departure from Community Hospital. 

We wanted to be sure to see Grandma Peggy “Grams” while we were home.  She had been residing in Hillcrest Nursing Home since December 2006.  She checked herself in a week before Josh and I got married.  She had been living in an apartment but her back was really starting to give her problems.  It became increasingly difficult for her to walk up and down the stairs as well as taking care of daily needs.  Grams always liked staying busy and interacting with people.  It got to the point where she was unable to drive and she could not get around like she wanted.  She decided it was time to take the next step.  She was a resident of the nursing home for a couple of weeks in December.  She was not at the point of needing 100% assistance.  She lived in the nursing home on the main level until an apartment in Hidden Pines Assisted Living became available.  

Grams did really well and she enjoyed the assisted living.  She had her own apartment but she had the convenience of having daily meals cooked for her as well as activities to keep her busy.  Grams kept the staff on their toes!  She was always trying to make people laugh and she did her best to keep things interesting with her shenanigans.  From late night break-ins to the kitchen and refrigerator to telling her funny jokes, Grams was well known around the facility.  It got to the point where she had to move upstairs to the actual nursing home.  Grams thrived and she was happy wherever she was.

Dad did a wonderful job at stopping by to visit with Grams.  He took part in daily coffee club as well as BINGO.  There would be several times I would call Dad on my way home from work and he would tell me he was at Hillcrest.  Rochelle and I were able to visit with Grams on the phone quite a bit as well.  During our college years, we would get handwritten notes and cards from Grams.  I was recently going through some of my old cards and I saw one that said, “Sex.”  It had pink and purple glittery hearts on the card.  When I first came across the card I thought, “Who in the world is this from?”  I did not recall Josh giving me a card like this in the past.  I opened it up and the rest of the card read, “Now that I have your attention, Happy Birthday.” The card was signed “Love Grams xoxoxo” along with her trademark—a smiley face.  I laughed so hard when I found this card.  Grams will always hold a special place in my heart!  

After our tour of the hospital, we went to Pizza Hut for lunch.  Several family and friends joined us for the buffet style lunch.  We had plans to meet Brett and Lori Schmidt along with their kids for supper that evening.  We wanted to have plenty of time to spend with Grams because we were not sure when our next trip back to Indianola would be.  Dad, Rochelle, Scott, Josh, Bryson, Anisten, Holden, Kardyn and I went to Hillcrest and spent the afternoon with Grams.  We had a wonderful time catching up with her and the kids always did a fine job of providing the entertainment!  It was sad to leave Grams.  Her beautiful light blue-ish/green eyes would tear up as she hugged us.  She told us how much she loved us and to “be sure to stop up” next time we were home.  We assured her we would and we said our goodbyes.  Little did we know, that would be the last time we would see Grams.

As I type this entry, I am reflecting on how much of our lives we spend planning.  God already has every second of our lives planned out so why do we spend so much time worrying and planning?  To that point, God’s timing with the dedication ceremony was once again—perfect!  We spent time and energy worrying about finding the right date for the ceremony.  We compared calendars and suggested several dates amongst our family and with the hospital.  At the end of the day, God knew the date of the dedication ceremony would be July 19, 2013.  He knew Grams will become ill and pass away just ten days later on July 29, 2013.

I received a call from Dad on Monday, July 22, 2013 to let me know Grams was being admitted to the hospital.  She had a fever and was starting to cough.  We figured this was one of her normal bouts with pneumonia.  She would get pneumonia at least one time per year and after a short hospital stay, she would return to Hillcrest in her normal manner—ornery!  This time was different.  Each passing day she became less responsive and the fight in her was decreasing.  At one point she said she was ready to “go home to be with dad.”  Grams referred to Grandpa Cliff as dad.  The doctors were not optimistic that Grams was going to pull through this time.  Her lungs were filling up and her breathing machines were maxed out.  On July 29, 2013 our family gained another guardian angel.

I remember talking to Dad about how healthy Grams seemed when we were home over the weekend.  Her mind was sharp and she seemed to be in good health.  We talked about how thankful we were that we were able to spend quality time with her the weekend of Mom’s dedication ceremony.  The pneumonia came on overnight and it was more than she could handle.  

At the time of Grams’ funeral, my doctor was not comfortable with me traveling 7 hours.  My due date had been a moving target during my pregnancy.  I was confident that my due date was August 31^st but the ultrasounds were showing August 20^th.  Depending on how it was calculated I was either 36 or 38 weeks pregnant and my doctor highly suggested I do not make the trip.  It made me very sad to miss Grams’ funeral but I could hear Mom quietly reassuring me by reminding me how much time we spent with Grams when she was alive.   The funeral home videotaped the service so our family could watch it at a later date. 

Below is Grams’ Life Legacy:

Peggy Ann Schmidt went to meet her loving Lord and Savior on July 29, 2013. Peggy passed away at Community Hospital in McCook.

She was born in Rutland, Vermont on Jan. 7, 1935. She grew up in the New England states where she was raised by her mother, Margaret and father, Paul Martel along with her three brothers: Robert, Morris and Wayne. On Nov. 6, 1955, she was married to Clifford Eugene Schmidt. To this union three children were born: Les, Brenda and Brett.

Peggy worked as a caregiver for many years. For nine years she was a Teachers Aid at Republican Valley Schools; for 18 years she was in high demand as an in-home Caregiver for the elderly.

Peggy enjoyed reading, gardening, cooking and playing bingo. She was a member of the Methodist Church in Indianola.

Peggy was preceded in death by her parents, her brothers, husband Cliff, daughter-in-law Nancy, and great-grandson Jayce.

She is survived by her children, Les Schmidt of Indianola; Brenda Hinz and husband, Troy of Clayton, Indiana; Brett Schmidt and wife, Lori of McCook; 12 grandchildren: Rochelle (Scott), Kirby (Josh), Mishae, Brettani, Tiara, Noah, Elijah, Laurel, Benjamin, Lainey, Ethan and Chance; and five great-grandchildren: Bryson, Anisten, Holden, Kardyn and Hudson. Also surviving is a sister-in-law Ruth Palensky of Indianola, NE as well as many extended family.

Funeral services will be on Friday, August 2, 2013, at 10:30 a.m. at Carpenter-Breland Funeral Home in McCook, Gerald Beckenhauer officiating. Burial will follow in the Grove Cemetery at Indianola, NE.

Public visitation will be Thursday from 3:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m., at the Carpenter-Breland Funeral Home in McCook with the family greeting friends from 6:00 to 8:00.

Memorials may be left to Hillcrest Nursing Home Foundation P.O. Box 1087 McCook, NE

I remember being sad that Grams was no longer with us but she expressed she was ready and that she lived a good life.  Grams lived a great life!  She lived life to its fullest every single day.  She was well respected and she always had a knack for having fun.  One memory, amongst several, that makes me laugh is when Grams told us the story when she knocked over the +20’Christams tree at Hillcrest.  She was backing up in her wheelchair when she accidentally hit the tree and over it went!  When she told the story she spiced it up by slightly exaggerating to make the story even funnier.  She said she yelled, “timber” as it was falling.  Who knows, maybe she did.  I would not put it past her! 

Another funny story Dad shares is how Grams tried to hook him up with ladies after Mom passed away.  Grams had a mild form of dementia so her judgment was not the greatest.  Dad told us that during their conversations Grams would spot a woman and say, “What about that one?” Dad got a good laugh out of it and told Grams he was doing fine and he was not looking.   We always took what Grams said with a grain of salt.  She spoke her mind and she did not care who was listening! 

I was really sad for Dad.  He lost his wife and his mother in one calendar year; nine months to be exact.  It seemed like everything was hitting at once.  We were still grieving the loss of Mom, dealing with the roller coaster of emotions with Rochelle’s diagnosis and treatment, losing Grams and coming up on the one year anniversary of losing Mom.  It seemed like every corner we turned there was bad news lurking behind it.  We continued to keep our faith during the trying times.  We trusted this was all part of God’s master plan and we had to continue to believe that He would see us through it.  

A few weeks after Grams passed away Dad met a wonderful woman named Deanna.  He was hesitant to tell Rochelle and I at first because he did not know how we would feel about it.  We were very excited for Dad.   The happiness was back in Dad’s voice. After Mom passed away, I was not sure if Dad would ever experience true happiness again.  He expressed how he will always love Mom and he will never forget her.  Rochelle and I want Dad to be happy.  He is too young to be alone.  Mom told us during our family meeting days before she died that she did not want Dad to be alone.  She also told Dad in private several times during her terminal illness that he needs to move on and keep living.  

We are so thankful Deanna and Dad met when they did.  Deanna and Dad had never met, however Deanna had seen Dad at her office.  Deanna was unaware of Dad’s situation of losing Mom and Grams.  One of Deanna’s co-workers was getting ready to move and as Dad was leaving the office, Dad stopped in Deanna’s office to wish the other woman well on her new adventures.  Deanna sent Dad a request on Facebook that evening.  Dad recognized her picture and he accepted her request later on that evening.  They eventually went on a date and got to know one another.  We are excited to be celebrating their marriage on November 15, 2014! 

We know this is what Mom would want.  Dad tried hard to be alone but it was one of the hardest things he has ever had to do.  He was constantly reminded of Mom’s passing by living in the home they shared. He woke up to nobody and went to bed with nobody.  Rochelle and I prepared several meals and froze them but it is not the same as a home cooked meal.  Dad really missed having a companion.  He was so thankful for the lasting friendships and the invitations to dinner but the reality of it is, he had to leave by himself and walk into a dark house by himself.  As soon as Dad and Deanna met, the happiness in Dad’s voice started picking up.  He could not talk about Mom without tearing up but the genuine love between Dad and Deanna was obvious.  Deanna has many characteristics of Mom.  She is a hard worker, she is very thoughtful and loving.  She has brought life back into Dad and Rochelle and I are forever grateful!

When Dad told us how Deanna reached out to him on Facebook, we reminded him how much of a struggle it was for him to agree to sign up.  Shortly after Mom passed away, Rochelle encouraged Dad to get on Facebook.  We wanted Dad to be able to stay in touch with friends and family and to see the updated pictures of the grandkids.  Dad was very resistant to the idea but after enough hounding, he gave in!  Rochelle set him up an account and taught him how to navigate on his wall and how to send private messages.  We had a lot of laughs during Dad’s learning curve with Facebook.  One story in particular was in March 2013 when Dad was at our house for the gender reveal party and Easter.  As I was getting ready for the gender reveal party, Dad yells, “Kirby” in a panicked voice.   I went to see what was wrong and Dad was pacing back and forth like he does when he is frustrated.  He was rubbing his forehead as he was explaining the problem.  He was trying to update his profile and when he updated his marriage date, March 24, the year defaulted to 2013 rather than allowing him to enter 1979!  I laughed so hard when he told me this.  He was worried that people from home were going to think that he came to Kansas City to get married!  It took some time to find the setting to delete the marriage date but it was so funny!  Dad was extremely relieved when we told him the problem had been fixed!  He promised to not mess with his settings again and to leave things how they were. 

We are blessed and thankful God brought Dad and Deanna together.  When Mom and Dad first met, Dad had a burley beard.  Dad later asked Mom what attracted her to him.  Mom’s response was, “Your eyes.”  She explained to Dad that his eyes are what attracted her to him.  Dad’s eyes “smile” whether he is happy or sad. 

Shortly after Dad and Deanna met, Deanna commented on how Dad’s eyes “smile.”  When Deanna said this, Dad felt as if he were receiving a sign that Deanna and he were meant to be together.  Only one other person ever told Dad this and it was Mom. Coincidence?  I don’t think so!

Life was starting to feel happy and somewhat “normal” again.  Rochelle had finished treatment, Deanna was brought into our lives and Layton Gabriel was born on September 3, 2013 weighing in at a healthy 9 pounds 15 ounces.  Layton was born on a very special day—Rochelle and Scott’s anniversary.

I was hard to believe everything that had gone on in just one year.  We were reminded on September 4, 2013 as we were cuddling Layton that a year prior, we were in a hospital receiving Mom’s terminal diagnosis from Dr. Reed.  We also reflected on Rochelle’s diagnosis and prognosis as well as losing Grams.  We also knew that I had to stay on track with my 6 month surveillance program and preventative surgery.   We were thankful for our experiences, both good and bad, during the last year.  It made us all remember just how precious life truly is.  We will forever be missing a link in our family chain but we know the God’s plan is greater than we can ever imagine.