Monday, July 14, 2014

Fight Like a Girl



Mom handled her treatment very well the second time around, (not surprising).  She scheduled her treatments in Omaha around her work schedule.  She was able to receive treatment every other Thursday during the duration of her treatment plan.  Her plan was to miss as little work as possible.  During the week of treatment she would work Monday-Wednesday and she and Dad would stay with Ro and Scott in Gretna on Wednesday night.  A new treatment facility was constructed in Elkhorn near Ro and Scott’s home.   Mom was able to see her oncologist and receive her treatment within minutes of Gretna.  After she completed treatment they would drive back to Indianola and she would go to work on Fridays.   

The hospital was in the process of a major construction project during her treatment.  Mom was heavily involved in the planning and interior design.  The open house was scheduled for January 2011 and Mom was not going to let anything, not even cancer, get in her way of seeing that phase of the project to the end.  She was also involved in the planning and organization of the open house. 
I remember Mom talking about how bad her joints hurt her during treatment.  When her counts were low due to the chemo, she was given a shot of Neupogen to help build up her counts and to allow her to receive the next round of chemo.  Neupogen helps make white blood cells which helps prevents infection during chemotherapy. Mom always made it a goal to stay on track with her treatments.  Thankfully, she only had to miss one, maybe two treatments throughout her experiences with chemo. At one point during the construction, the main hallway by Mom’s office was blocked off and several detours were in place.  Despite her pain, she walked back and forth numerous times a day from her office to the new wing of the hospital to make sure every last detail was right.  

Mom really did not complain about pain and/or discomfort while undergoing treatment.  She saw the pain as progress and each treatment was one step closer to being done and moving on.   She knew she needed the lifesaving yet toxic drugs to kill the cancer cells that were living inside of her.  She did say a few times how much “easier” it was the second time around because she did not have the pressure of keeping the details of her treatment from us.  She was able to openly talk about her feelings and the next step without the pressure of protecting us from the details like she did 17 years earlier. 
Once again she experienced the side effects of chemo (hair loss, mouth sores and fatigue).  She also had a metallic taste in her mouth because of the chemo.  The only side effect Mom really complained about was the joint pain from the Neupogen shots.  It must have been pretty bad for Mom to mention it.   The chemo really seemed to make Mom more tired the second time around.  This bummed her out a bit because Mom was a woman on the go.  I remember encouraging her by reminding her she was almost 20 years older than the first go around.  I also reminded her that she could actually allow herself to be tired this time because she didn’t have to worry about her 10 and 12 year old daughters.  I think she found some comfort in this but still, she did not like to be slowed down. 

I remember when Mom started losing her hair.  One Saturday morning she was getting ready to go to a bridal shower and she noticed a lot of shedding.  She asked Dad to shave her head and he did just that.  I am sure Mom was bothered by this to a certain extent but Mom was not vain.  A woman’s hair is a big part of her identity so losing it has to be bothersome but Mom knew in no time she would be done with treatment and her hair would grow back.  She knew the chemo was doing its job and she was thankful she was given the chance to fight.

Mom completed her last round of chemo at the end of January 2011 and her oncologist reported that to the touch, the tumor shrunk in response to the treatment.  On February 12, 2011 she underwent a mastectomy.  Just prior to the surgery, Mom was given an injection which would help the doctors during surgery to detect whether or not there was lymph node involvement.  Ro reported that Mom cried during the procedure.  It breaks my heart to think of all the pain Mom experienced but Mom was a warrior! 

Dad and Ro were at the hospital with Mom during her surgery.  Mom politely asked me to stay home.  She knew she was in good hands and she was thankful Ro could be there with Dad.  Mom always worried about her kids schedules being disrupted because of her health.  We were happy to be there when we could but Mom wanted normalcy.  I anxiously awaited by the phone during her surgery.   Ro did a great job of keeping me in the loop by periodically sending texts. 
The phone rang earlier than I expected so I picked it up during the middle of the first ring.  Ro was on the other end and she was whispering yet laughing at the same time.  In that moment, I couldn’t imagine what could possibly be so funny.  Poor Dad had a debacle with his front tooth.   As he was biting down on either gum or food, his front tooth came out!  Ro was calling me to report the unfortunate event but Dad took it in good stride.  It actually provided a good distraction which made the time go by a little faster.  

Following the surgery, the doctor reported that the surgery went well but the tumor was still present and it was not quite as small as they initially thought based on the physical exam.  They had to wait on the pathology report regarding the lymph nodes.  I cannot remember what Mom said when she came out of anesthesia but there was Dad, missing his front tooth.  Mom was so witty.  I am sure she had something to say about it in which they all got a good laugh!

The next course of treatment would depend on whether or not there was lymph node involvement.  Thirteen lymph nodes were taken and 4 of the 13 contained cancer.  Due to the amount of lymph node involvement, it was decided that Mom would undergo radiation.  This was a catch 22 situation.  Clearly the best possible scenario would have been no malignancy found in the lymph nodes.  When the doctor reported there was enough lymph node involvement to warrant radiation, we had mixed emotions—we wanted the journey to be over but we were thankful radiation was option to get rid of the cancer once and for all.   

Portions of the pathology report are below:
History: High-risk breast cancer patient.  History of high-risk breast cancer on the left side, status post left modified radical mastectomy.  Now has advanced right-sided breast cancer.  The patient is also status post chemotherapy. 

Final Diagnosis: 1) Lymph nodes, right axilla; three of eleven lymph nodes positive for mestastic carcinoma.  Greatest dimension of nodal metastasis: 3.5 mm.  2) mastectomy, right breast.  Invasive ductal carcinoma; 3) sentinel lymph node, right axilla—one lymph node positive for metastic carcinoma.

Diagnosis Comment: Gross  examination of the right breast demonstrates an area of tumor that measures 8.5 cm in greatest dimension.  Microscopic examination of this area of tumor demonstrates scattered patchy areas of malignancy.
Approximately 14 days after her surgery, Mom and Dad made a special trip to our house so we could go to Missys’ Boutique at the University of Kansas Hospital.  Missys’ Boutique is a specialty store for people with cancer.  Their motto is “Changing the Look of Cancer.”  It has a nice variety of hats, scarves, wigs, bras, prosthetics, jewelry, shirts, bags, etc.  The story of the boutique is as follows (taken from the website):

Missys’ Boutique is named in memory of Melissa Malter Newell and Ann Wilcox O’Neill—both affectionately known as Missy.  These young Kansas wives and mothers did not meet before they lost their lives to breast cancer in their early 30s.  Yet their spirits are forever entwined in a legacy to bring hope, dignity and strength to cancer patients and survivors through this appearance center.  Both women had asked family members to promise to do something to help other cancer patients.  Missys’ Boutique fulfills those promises, benefiting countless patients for years to come.”

Mom was excited to finally get fitted with a bra and to find prosthetics following her surgery.  Mom was frustrated because her surgical drains were still in place.  There was too much drainage for them to be removed.  She had the drains at least three weeks, maybe even four weeks.  She felt so free once the drains were removed.  After she got the drains removed, she had one pocket of fluid near the surgery site.  She was hopeful it would go away but it was stubborn.  I do not recall the time frame but I remember Mom telling me that the first time she wore her new black bra from Missys’ it really rubbed on the fluid filled area and was quite uncomfortable.  She reported feeling a “pop” and the fluid filled sac disappeared.   

Mom received her radiation treatments in Grand Island for 6 weeks just like she did in 1994.   She was shocked how much things changed from 17 years prior.  In 1994 her first appointment was spent setting blocks.  In other words, the doctors created physical barriers so the targeted area would receive radiation and the remaining parts of her body would not.  In 2011, things were very different.  Everything was computerized and there were not physical blocks set, only maps.  Mom was somewhat uncomfortable with this but she always trusted her doctors.  Mom’s radiation treatment went a little longer than expected because she had to miss a few treatments along the way.  As expected, her skin became very burned and she was forced to skip some treatments to allow her skin to heal. 

Mom finished her treatment just in time for our road trip to Indiana.  Ro was being inducted into the NAIA Hall of Fame to recognize her for her God given talent, hard work and success.  During her time as a Doane College track athlete, she was 16 time All-American in track and field. 
Josh, Bryson, Holden and I left Olathe and met Mom, Dad, Scott, Ro, Anisten and Jim and Sandi Swanson in Des Moines, Iowa.  We were able to park our vehicle in the garage at Josh’s grandparents retirement home in Des Moines.  We visited with his grandparents while Scott loaded our bags and car seats into the 12 passenger rose colored van!   That van was a riot!  We had so much fun and made so many memories during the many miles between Des Moines and Marion, Indiana.  We were not sure how well the three kiddos (ages 3, 2 and 1) would travel but they did great!






On the way home from Marion, we stopped in Chicago.  We enjoyed Chicago style pizza and swimming at the hotel.  The next morning we went to the Navy Pier.  Now I understand why they call Chicago “The Windy City.”  Based on our experience, “The Windy City” proved to be just that!  The day started out quite cold, rainy and windy.  It became quite obvious we did not dress for the weather.  We traveled to the Navy Pier and had lunch and went shopping for jackets.   We then decided to take a ferry ride so we could see the historical buildings.  It was an amazing tour but unfortunately our teeth were chattering the entire time.  It was absolutely freezing!  Once we got off the ferry we headed back towards the shopping center on the Navy Pier.  Thankfully we had a good hold on the umbrella strollers (with the kids buckled in) because the wind “gusts” literally picked up the strollers off the ground.  We were laughing so hard we could barely catch out breaths!  Mom was still wearing a wig at that time and rather than dealing with the wind, she stuffed her wig in her purse and wore a baseball hat around.  That was a great choice because I am confident that wig would have blown for miles!



On our way home from Chicago, we stopped at the Amana Colonies in Amana, Iowa.  Jim and Sandi had previously toured the colonies and they highly recommended it to us.  We had a wonderful time walking around and absorbing the culture.  Mom loved the old buildings.   We took several pictures so she could choose her favorites and make canvas prints to hang in her office.  We ate lunch at a quaint little restaurant and then we loaded up the van and headed towards Des Moines where we would part ways. 

Our road trip was a celebration in many ways.  We were celebrating Ro’s success, Mom being in remission and Holden’s first birthday.  Life was good!  We were so thankful the year was behind us and we could continue to live life to its fullest!

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