Rochelle and I are so blessed to be born into a
wonderful, loving family. Our parents
were the perfect example of true love. I
remember thinking on my wedding day, “If Josh and I can have even half
of what Mom and Dad have, we are going to be alright.” They were always very supportive of our hopes
and dreams. They showed us how to love
and respect people and to work hard for what we want. I am sure we had our “squabbles” growing up
honestly my childhood is filled with many wonderful memories. I loved growing up on a farm in a small,
rural community. I wouldn’t trade
growing up in a small town for anything.
Now in our adult lives, comments are often made about our work ethic.
Mom and Dad worked very hard and were amazing role models for my sister and
I.
I remember living in the small farm house that my
grandpa Schmidt and his siblings lived in.
The house was built in 1925(ish).
It took my great grandpa Fred almost 1 year to hand dig the
basement. The house was very small--two
bedrooms, 1 bathroom. Our kitchen also served
as our laundry room. We eventually got a
mobile dishwasher! I also remember how
hot the summers were considering the fact we did not have an air conditioner. We only had a small window unit in our “cozy”
living room. Dad and Mom decided to
build on in the early 90s. Mom and Dad
finally got the master bedroom and bathroom they had been dreaming of. Rochelle and I were excited too because we
finally got our own rooms!
I will never forget the evening Mom, Rochelle and I
got home when we found birds flying around the house! As soon as we walked in the front door the
birds started bomb diving our heads! Mom
instructed Rochelle and I go to into the bathroom and shut the door. We started running towards the bathroom and
Mom went and got a broom! She started
chasing the birds with the broom until they flew out of the front door! It was scary at the time but we still laugh
about it today.
Rochelle and I spent many hours playing outside and
building our fort. We found things in
the farm dump and drug them back to the fort to play make believe. I can’t remember the name of each area of our
fort but the one that comes to mind is “look out mountain.” We would climb up the tree and use our
binoculars to see if people were coming.
We would also make “hamburgers” out of Toto’s dog food. We would soak the dog food in water then
press them together to make patties (no we did not eat them for those of you
who are wondering). J
We tried to make a tepee in our fort. We
spent several hours piling large branches up to make our tepee. I remember asking Mom for a sheet so we could
use our watercolors to paint on the sheet like the Native American’s used to
do. Mom gave us a green and white
pattern sheet to use!
Summer time was filled with many wonderful memories! We helped Dad on the farm. He took us irrigating and we were responsible
for shutting of the gates on the pipes as well as dragging the irrigation socks
from one part of the field to the next.
Occasionally we would find yellow and black salamanders in the gates of
the pipe as well as in the ends of the socks.
We would ride in the back of the pick-up from field to field until we
were done irrigating for the day. We would
also spend time in the bean fields pulling weeds. We would each take several rows at a time and
we would walk up and down the rows until the fields were spotless!
Wintertime also brought lots of fun for our
family! We always looked forward to our
ski trips to Keystone, Colorado. When
we were little, we stayed with uncle Lloyd and aunt Mary Ogorzolka for the
weekend while the adults went skiing. We
were so excited when we were old enough to go along. From being stuffed into our brown conversion
van with 9 people, to braving the blizzards, to falling of the ski lifts and to
losing our van keys on the side of the mountain, our annual ski trips were
always an adventure!
Our childhood seemed carefree until 1993 when our
lives were turned upside down. The year
started out as they had in years past except for the very large snow storm that
occurred night before our aunt’s wedding.
If I remember correctly, we received almost 24”of snow. Hindsight maybe the snow storm was a sign
that the year was going to be a wild ride.
Grandpa Cliff got diagnosed with lung cancer in
1993. He was a hardworking man but he
sure enjoyed his cigarettes. He lost his
brother Griff in 1991 to lung cancer and his sister Laverna also passed away
due to lung cancer.
Rochelle and I spent a lot of time and Grandma and
Grandpa Schmidt’s house. We spent many
hours with Grandma and Grandpa during his battle with lung cancer. Grandpa fought hard but we ended up losing
him on June 23, 1993 at the relatively young age of 62.
The farming season was not going very well in
1993. We got hailed out at least two
times during the summer. Rochelle and I
went to California with Grandma Schmidt shortly after Grandpa passed away. I remember them telling us that our
trampoline blew over the house during one of the storms that passed
through. Little did we know, a large
“storm” was brewing and was about ready to strike our family.
I will never forget the cold morning in December
when Mom came to my room as I was getting ready for school. I was in 4th grade and Rochelle
was in 6th grade. We sat on
the side of my new waterbed (early Christmas present) and she told me she was
going to go to the doctor because she found a lump. I remember feeling scared and I started to
cry. I really didn’t know what it meant but I felt a pit in the bottom of my
stomach. She brought up scenarios like,
“remember when I say “ouch” when you girls lean on me when we are in the
pick-up? I am going to get it checked
out.” I remember Mom reassuring by
telling me everything was going to be fine.
I am not sure I was convinced but I finished getting ready for
school. I really do not remember the
days following Mom’s appointment.
I have always been a worrier. For those of you who know my dad, you know
the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree.
I think my anxiety and fear of doctors partially stems from the bad news
that always seemed to come from “routine” doctor visits. I recently saw
something on Facebook that said, “Be a Warrior, not a Worrier.” I am trying hard to live by this motto.
It was a cold, December evening. Our snow covered Christmas tree was decorated
with bubble lights and antique Christmas ornaments that Mom adored. (I remember one year our Christmas tree fell
over and surprisingly only a few of the ornaments broke). Grandma Schmidt was at our house and greeted
us as we got off the school bus. Mom and
Dad were not home and I do not remember questioning where they were. We always had so much fun with Grandma so at
that point I don’t believe we were too concerned where Mom and Dad were.
I do not remember much about the evening other than
how much fun we were having wrapping presents with Grandma and listening to
Christmas music! It was such a fun time
of the year. One detail I vividly
remember is the look on Mom and Dad’s faces as they walked into the living
room. Their eyes were red as if they had
been crying. They both were trying so
hard to be strong as they delivered the dreaded news to my sister, Grandma and
I. Mom reminded us that she went to the
doctor “last week” and they looked at a lump in her breast. Mom continued to tell us that she had been
diagnosed with breast cancer (at the age of 37). I had no idea what that meant but I knew it
was bad news based on the way the adults were reacting. Mom continued to reassure us that everything
was going to be okay. They did a great
job of protecting my sister and I so they spared us the details.*
It wasn’t long after we found out about Mom’s
diagnosis that we decided to move in with Grandma across the canyon. I do not remember much about the move but I
remember feeling excited to live with Grandma!
Mom and Dad sat us down right before the move to let us know that they
were going to be traveling back and forth between Omaha and Indianola so Mom
could get better. They also informed us
that Mom would be taking some medicine that “might make her sick.” Mom was always about normalcy. They decided moving in with Grandma made
perfect sense so she could take care of us when Mom and Dad traveled to Omaha
for “medicine.”
The only memory I have about the move is Uncle Brett
coming over to take apart our new waterbeds (that he had just put together a
few weeks before) so we could move them to Grandma’s house. Rochelle and I were taking over the basement
and Mom and Dad moved into the guest bedroom upstairs. Rochelle’s new room was the brown paneled
room with brown shag carpet and my new room was the pink and purple room. The walls were pink panel and the carpet was
pink and purple shag! We were excited to
have the whole basement to ourselves! We
moved in right before Christmas (1993).
I remember Mom saying how sad she was because she wanted the holidays to
be a happy time and she didn’t want us to always associate Christmas with her
diagnosis.
*I now have copies of Mom’s pathology reports and
notes from some of her visits. During
Mom’s sickness in 2012, we obtained the pathology reports and records for
insurance purposes (more on that to follow later). It was very difficult to read the actual reports
with my own two eyes. I get sad and
teary eyed every time I read them because I can only imagine the heartache and
fear my parents must have felt each time the doctors delivered the diagnosis.
I do not have records from Mom’s treatment in
1993-1994 nor do I have copies of the numerous follow up visits. The excerpt below was taken from an office
visit dated February 2, 2012, summarizing Mom’s history with breast
cancer. I am going to do my best to put
the information in laymen’s terms so we can have a clear picture as to what Mom
was facing.
PROBLEM:
1) Breast Cancer, 1993, left sided high-risk breast cancer, triple negative,
stage III, 13 of 17 lymph nodes positive, treated with chemotherapy (Cytoxan,
Adriamycin and 5-FU) followed by consolidation high dose chemotherapy and an
autologous peripheral blood stem cell transplant. The patient did quite well and had no
evidence of recurrent disease.
The song “I’m Gonna Love You Through It” by Martina
McBride is very fitting during this time in our lives. A lot of the entries in
this blog talk about Mom’s strength but Dad’s strength matched that of
Mom’s. He was there every step of the
way and he prayed just as hard as Mom.
This song is a great tribute to how wonderful of a man Dad is and the
pillar of strength he was (and continues to be) for our family.
*I tried to link the music video to the link. Hopefully it works!
The doctor just confirmed her fears
Her husband held it in and held her tight
Cancer don’t discriminate or care if you’re just 38
With three kids who need you in their lives
He said, "I know that you’re afraid and I am, too
But you’ll never be alone, I promise you"
When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.
She made it through the surgery fine
They said they caught it just in time
But they had to take more than they planned
Now it's forced smiles and baggy shirts
To hide what the cancer took from her
But she just wants to feel like a woman again
She said, "I don't think I can do this anymore"
He took her in his arms and said "That's what my love is for"
When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.
And when this road gets too long
I'll be the rock you lean on
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.
I’m gonna love you through it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_Tsn4fQ1_k
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