As
I sit back and think about the last 20 years, my heart is filled with happiness
and joy. I am often reminded of all of
the good times we shared and the experiences we had as a family. We have all heard the saying, “time heals all
wounds” and there is no doubt we have all probably chosen that line to help
others find comfort in a time of sorrow.
I do believe that the passage of time helps the body and soul heal. The nightmares surrounding Mom’s illness and
the difficult memories of Mom’s final days are starting to fade and her witty
demeanor and the precious moments we had together are what I am starting to
have as prominent memories. A piece of
my heart will always be broken but I know Mom is watching over our family and
this brings me tremendous peace.
It
is hard to believe we are getting ready to celebrate our third Christmas
without Mom. I remember how sad she was
when she received her terminal diagnosis in the fall of 2012. She loved the holiday season and she did not
want to “ruin” the future holidays for our family by being reminded of the
sadness of her diagnosis. Mom was always
thinking of other people by putting her feelings aside and focusing on others’
feelings. Christmas is a wonderful
reason to celebrate and I find comfort in remembering our past Christmases and
our family traditions. This past weekend
we got together with Rochelle’s family to celebrate Anisten’s 6th
birthday, Grady’s baptism and Christmas.
We had Christmas music playing in the background a majority of the
weekend. As Rochelle and I were in the
kitchen, Rochelle and I talked about how we could hear Mom whistling and singing
along with the tunes. She loved
preparing holiday meals for our family and being surrounded by those she
loved. We continue to cherish past memories
as well as making new ones with our friends and family.
Following
their wedding, Dad and Deanna spent a week in Hawaii for their honeymoon. They chose a great week to enjoy the tropical
paradise as the rest of us in the Midwest fought through the tundra! We would periodically receive text messages
saying it was 80 degrees and my typical response was “it is a balmy 15 degrees
here!” They had a week full of
activities and site seeing.
One
of their adventures took them to a jewelry shop in which they could pick
out/purchase an oyster. Deanna was on
the hunt for a pearl necklace so they thought this would be the perfect
opportunity. They were told the ugliest
oysters typically produced the prettiest pearls. Deanna took her time choosing the perfect
oyster and much to her surprise there were two black pearls in the oyster. The attendant at the store said it is
uncommon for there to be two pearls in an oyster but when it does happen, the
pearls are usually white. Deanna and Dad
got busy looking for a setting for the pearls.
Once they were done, they decided to pick out another oyster. The search was on for another ugly, cracked
oyster. Deanna and Dad picked out the
second oyster and once again they found two black pearls! This definitely caught the attention of the
workers and they reiterated this “never happens.” Deanna thought a matching pair of earrings
would look nice with her new necklace.
She said she was looking at settings when all of a sudden she and Dad
looked at one another and Deanna said, “I think these pearls are meant for the
girls.” They started looking for
settings for a necklace for Rochelle and I.
They
were taken back by their experience and were enjoying sharing their story with
other shoppers. During their time in the
store they watched other customers purchase pearls but not once did another
black pearl surface. Deanna and Dad were
the ‘lucky’ ones. The lady that had been
assisting Dad and Deanna insisted on them opening one more oyster. At first they resisted because they were
satisfied with their purchases, not to mention their “2 for the price of 1”
deals they secured. The worker insisted they
pick one more oyster free of charge.
After little debate, they decided to pick one final oyster. Low and behold, the third oyster contained
two more black pearls! They all were
baffled at this. By this time, other
customers were in the background watching this unfold. Deanna picked out a setting for some earrings
to match her necklace from the first set of pearls.
Approximately
an hour or so later they were ready to pay and leave the store. The total amount caught their attention and
that is when the emotions set in. The
total amount was $1,313.04. Dad said he grabbed the invoice from the lady
to see the amount with his own eyes. If
you have been following our story, you know the number 13 has played a role
throughout our lives. We were also told
during the experience with the spiritual medium the number 3 would show up in
our lives. Dad and Deanna called us from
Hawaii and told us they could not wait to share the story with us but we had to
wait until we got together for Christmas the weekend of December 19. They wanted Rochelle and I to be together to
hear the awesome story. We gathered
together and opened the beautiful pearl necklaces and that is when they shared
the story with us.
While
they were in Hawaii, Dad received a call that one of our family friends had
been involved in an accident involving a train.
This was obviously very traumatic news but they were relieved when they
found out Jared survived the accident.
Many prayers were being said for Jared and his family from family and
friends near and far. This news was
difficult to comprehend because we had all been together a few days prior and
we had a lot to celebrate and be thankful for.
Jared’s dad, Doug is Dad’s best friend and he was the best man in the
wedding. Jared’s mom, Deb had just
celebrated her 60th birthday and Doug and Deb were getting ready to
celebrate their wedding anniversary. It
is amazing how quickly life can change.
When I heard about the accident it seemed impossible. I remember talking to Jared at the wedding
reception and seeing his beautiful children and wife at the reception.
Once
they returned from their honeymoon, Dad and Deanna traveled to the hospital to
visit Jared and his family. They spent
time at the hospital and were very happy to hear about the remarkable progress
Jared was making in his recovery process.
It is natural to say somebody is lucky when they beat the odds by
surviving in unlikely circumstances but we know this is all part of God’s master
plan. It is human nature to want to know
“why this happened” but clearly it was not Jared’s time and God has big plans
for him. As Dad and Deanna were leaving
the hospital they were talking about how blessed Jared is and how thankful he
is able to walk away from the accident.
A few minutes after this conversation took place, a car passed them and
the license plate was “13 13 58” (5+8 = 13).
Once again, three 13s appeared and they took this as a sign. We continue to pray for continued healing and
strength for Jared and his family.
We
had planned on hosting Thanksgiving at our home this year. Josh wanted to
experiment with the turkey this year by frying it. I was supportive of his ambition but I also
wanted to stay close to tradition by roasting the turkey. The weekend before our planned get together,
I went to the store to get all of the ingredients for our feast. I knew it was going to be a busy week with
basketball and cub scouts so I decided to make a batch of pumpkin bars and
cranberry dessert that weekend and freeze it so we would not be pressed for
time during the week. I also purchased
two turkeys (30 pounds) so we could have a turkey cook off. We were looking forward to getting together
to kick off the holiday season. Deanna’s
father, Larry continued to struggle with health issues and it was apparent his
health was declining during the month of November. We are all so thankful he remained stable
while Dad and Deanna were in Hawaii and they were able to enjoy their time
together. It was becoming apparent that
Dad and Deanna needed to stay around McCook to help Larry and Karen. Rochelle’s kids were also sick during the
week so we decided it was best to postpone our get together. By this time the two turkeys had been thawing
so Josh and I decided to continue with our plans. We had a turkey cook off and enjoyed our
Thanksgiving dinner at home.
Deanna’s
parents hosted Thanksgiving at their home in McCook. Their son, David and his family were able to
make it home from Colorado to be together, knowing it would likely be Larry’s
last Thanksgiving. Larry was able to
take part in the feast while being surrounded by his family. Right after Thanksgiving his health took a
turn for the worse. He continued to
decline at a steady pace and on December 2, 2014 he was called home.
I
received some heartfelt messages from Deanna during the course of her father’s
illness. She told us how Dad was her
rock and how she and her family were so grateful for all of the emotional
support Dad had given their family. We
truly feel Deanna came into our lives at the right time and in return, Dad came
into Deanna’s life at the right time. We
are so thankful that Dad and Deanna were both given the opportunity to love and
to be loved unconditionally at this phase of their lives. Larry’s celebration of life was on Monday,
December 8, 2014.
After
some back and forth scheduling issues, phase two of my reconstruction was set
for December 8, 2014. Arrangements were
made with the boys and Josh and I set out for the hospital at 7:00 on Monday
morning. I was scheduled to check in at
8:00 and surgery was at 10:00. I was not
nervous for the surgery but I was anxious about getting hung up in
traffic. I do not like being late and it
tends to stress me out when I am not on time.
Traffic was very heavy that morning and several accidents made us
question whether or not we would get to the hospital in time. After a major freak out stressful
drive, we arrived at the hospital at 8:15.
Josh parked the car and I made my way to admissions. Thankfully my name
was called right away and I was able to get through the admissions process
rather quickly. We made our way to the
surgical waiting room on the second floor.
This
was only the second time I had been in this waiting room but once again I was
taken back by the number of people in the waiting room. When I was in the hospital in June, I asked
the nurse how many operating rooms they had at the hospital and she responded
by saying there are 64 on that floor and then there are approximately 10 more
divided between the cardiac floor and the mother/baby floor. We checked in at the front desk. Each patient is given a number to be
identified by in order to protect their identity. The family members are given a sticker with a
number so during the surgery they can be called back and provided updates on
their loved one. I was assigned number
“33.” I felt an overwhelming sense of
peace and I immediately sent a text to Dad to let him know about my assigned
number. I was more than ready to take on
the surgery! My plastic surgeon told me
this phase would be much easier than the first phase. The recovery time is much shorter and I would
not have to have surgical drains. The
hardest part of the surgery is the six week lifting restriction that is
implemented but I know I need to be a good patient and abide by the
restrictions.
I
was called back to the pre-surgical suites and was greeted by wonderful nurses
and aids. Protocol requires a pregnancy
test before the surgery can move forward.
The anesthesiologist and I were talking about that and I told her I was
confident I was not pregnant. She shared
with me a couple of stories where past patients were certain they were not
pregnant but the test proved otherwise.
I also shared Rochelle’s remarkable story with her and we got a good
laugh at the situation. A short time
later, Josh came back to be with me. The
anesthesiologist peeked behind the curtain and said, “Congratulations!” Time literally stood still. I could not imagine what she was
congratulating us for. She then said,
“You are NOT pregnant!” I loved her
sense of humor and her ability to make me feel very comfortable.
The
next thing I knew we were being paged from the OR to let us know they were
ready for me. I remember being wheeled
into the OR and getting situated on the table.
The anesthesiologist put the mask over my face and told me to take a
nap. Now a days, I will find any excuse
to take a few minutes to lay down and take a nap. I welcomed the invite and off
to never never land I went.
During
my surgery I had a very vivid dream of Mom.
I have tried by hardest to remember all of the details but I cannot come
up with anything. The only thing I
remember is Mom and I standing together.
The background was black but a bright light was shining on top of
us. I could see her, hear her and feel
her. It was so amazing and I remember
not wanting to let go. Right before I
woke up, I remember hugging Mom and holding her hand. After we hugged, we both turned and started
walking in opposite directions. We had a tight grip on the others hand and it was all we could do to let go. Once we got far enough apart from one
another, we let go and I woke up crying.
Tears were streaming down my face and I could not get it together. The nurse asked what was wrong and I told her
I had the most amazing dream of my Mom.
She comforted me and Josh came back.
I quickly came around and immediately told Josh about my experience. A short time later, the nurse came back and
asked me whether or not I remembered my dream.
To this day, I cannot remember anything other than what is illustrated
above. It truly was a very special
moment and one I will never forget.
I
spent the remainder of the week at home recovering. My doctor was spot on. The surgery was very
successful and the pain was managed by Tylenol for a couple of days. Josh and I spent some much needed time
together. We were able to get our
Christmas shopping done and go out to dinner for our 8th
anniversary. We also went to the theater
and enjoyed dinner and a movie. He has
been so supportive during this journey and he has also been a great care taker
and Mr. Mom, just to name a few. I could
not have gone through this journey without the support of Josh, my family,
friends and my boss. The year 2014 has
been a year of change and personal growth.
I am excited to celebrate Christmas with my family and I am ready to see
what 2015 has in store.
Have
a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year! God bless each and every one of you!
